Wandering Star – Noel Gallagher

Yes mate, this is more like it.

I love this.

It sounds exactly like Oasis.

That’s all I want from an artist, for them to continue to churn out exactly the same music in exactly the same way…forever.

Because I certainly don’t want to be exposed to new ideas and I don’t want the people I like experimenting or expanding their frame of reference.

I want it all to be the same.

Exactly the same.

All of the time.

Forever.

Anything that isn’t exactly the same is rubbish.

Don’t come ’round are way telling me how it’s narrow minded to reject things that don’t sound exactly the same as the music I liked thirty years ago because it’s not.  I’ll tell you what is narrow minded…changing.

Why?

Because it is.

I want a guitar, a bass, a drum kit and maybe, but only maybe, some brass.  Then I want those things put together in a way that reminds me of The Beatles or The Stone Roses.  Ideally both.  Maybe a bit of The Kinks too…but only the songs I know, none of that arty-farty, “Village Green”, concept, bullshit.  “You Really Got Me” and “Waterloo Sunset”, that’s fine.

What I most certainly do not want is for things to draw their influences from black culture, dance music, pop or anything else a bit “weird”.  Don’t say that’s racist, because it’s not…I’ve got a black mate on Twitter and the greatest hits of Motown on CD in the car.  I’m talking about the other black culture, the stuff that isn’t Mod.  Rap or hip-hop…crap I call it.  Don’t get me started on dance music.  Rubbish mate.  No instruments.  All done on computers innit.  All bleeps and beeps.  Shit.  Music for junkies.  Same with “pop” music.  What’s the point of it?

Nah, good music is stuff that sounds the same.

No frills mate.

ROCK AND FUCKING ROLL.

To be honest I could live without the roll bit.

Like, people get all excited about “Screamadelica”, right, that Primal Scream record but it’s only good because of the bits that sound like the stuff I already liked.  The other bits of it were rubbish…all of those songs would sound better without the production and the dance music bollocks.  “Give Out…” was a better record because it was rock and roll.

Same here innit.

“Black Star Dancing”?  Bloody Hell.  Crap star dancing more like.  It didn’t sound anything like Oasis.  So what’s the point?  “Evil Flower”?  Crap flower more like.  “This is the Place”?  Yeah, if the place is the toilet mate.

I thought we had lost Noel for a while there.

Experimenting.

Why bother mate?

You know what we like so just give us that.  Loads and loads of it.

I mean those last few records wouldn’t sound out of place in Heaven or Studio 54 or summat.  Clubs for people who dress up to go out.  Not a pair of trainers to be seen.  Not a single person with a Weller haircut.  Mental.

That’s it in fact.

The perfect song is one that I can put on a pair of Samba’s to jump and down to, wear a black and gold Fred Perry like the one the bloke next to me is wearing and have a whole bucket of sweat run down the back of my feather cut hair-do by the end of it.

Mint.

Can’t do that with “Black Star Dancing”…bloke next to you might not even like Oasis.

Mental.

“Wandering Star” is perfect because I don’t have to worry about all that “different” and “experimenting”.  I don’t have to think about where the music that inspired it has come from…house music, gay clubs, funk, black culture.  Not interested mate.  This sounds like Oasis and so, obviously, I love it.

Madferit.