A Plea From What is Left of my Heart

This year on the Mild Mannered Army I have written 129 articles for your delight, delectation and despisement.

I know dispisement isn’t a real word and that there is probably a real word I could use to convey the same concept but, and I can’t stress this enough, I am a lazy man in very many ways and, crucially, not a very bright one.

Despisement it shall be.

If you didn’t despise something I had written before now…you probably do now.

All because of the made up word “despisement”.

On reflection if that is all it takes to get you to a point where you despise something you had previously only found delight and delectation in then you might not be a very nice person so I’m not sorry.

I have also recorded several hours of podcast and published eight brand new episodes compared to very many less than that for the whole of last year.

“What do you want?  A medal?  Nobody asked you to do any of this.”


I don’t want a medal and I am very aware of the fact that nobody asked for any of this but I have a suspicion that some people enjoy what goes on here, and on the podcast, and that suspicion is based on things like statistics.

You can’t argue with statistics.

They are right 101% of the time.

A few days back someone sent me a message telling me how they had enjoyed an episode of the podcast (yes they did) and they pointed out that the sound quality wasn’t great.

They were right.

It isn’t great.

That is because I am recording the podcasts using a knackered old headset with a mic on a reconditioned desktop made out of bits and pieces of other old desktops that my I.T savvy little brother made for me.  This machine isn’t capable of allowing me to edit the episodes so I have to transfer the conversations onto a USB stick and transfer them onto my wife’s old laptop before I can begin cobbling together something that is, barely, listenable.

I’ll be honest with you…it’s a faff and, worse than that, it is a faff that takes a bloody long time.

Another thing I should be honest about is that I am not what you could call “I.T literate”.

You could call me that but you would be wrong.

I’m not saying you would be a liar, you don’t have enough information to prove that I am I.T literate so it would be better for you just to say nothing.

“You should say nothing instead of prattling on about a bunch of old bands mate.”

You may be right.

I want to continue to produce the podcasts and write the articles and I would like both of those things to become both easier and better.

That’s where you come in.

If you could head over to Patreon and pledge to support my efforts I could maybe cobble together enough money to buy better equipment or take a course of some sort or go on holiday to Majorca.

“Why should we pay for you to go on holiday to Majorca?”

That is a very reasonable question.

You shouldn’t.

That was a joke.

“Not a very good one.”

Again, a reasonable point.

I’m sorry.


But if enough of you pledge just 77p a month then I could improve the quality of all of the things I am doing.

Seventy-seven pence.

I know.

I know.

If you don’t have 77 pence then it’s a lot of money.

Even if you do you might want to spend it on something better than…this.

But I’m not asking for 77p a day.

Just 77p every 30 days or so.

Or you could pledge a little bit more because…

Well, I can’t think of a reason why you should but you still could and you would really be helping me out.

You can pledge HERE

If you do I’ll send you something nice in the post.

Specifically I will send you a lovingly created mix of absolute Britpop bangers.

I’m sorry.

Some of you already do that and, sincerely, I couldn’t be more grateful to you.