When Mrs Max told me she had a baby growing in her tummy I came over all peculiar.
It was terrifying.
I could barely look after myself, how was I going to help look after a baby?
That was five and a half years ago and I am still terrified.
I am also still unsure as to how well I am doing as a looker afterer.
At the start of this year I decided to start keeping a diary of all the things that me and The Dame did together.
Why is she called The Dame?
Well, because we had a little girl flavoured baby I couldn’t call her Morrissey (given recent events that may be a good thing) so I needed to get a name that was connected to Morrissey but that would keep Mrs Max happy. We settled on a very old fashioned, very English and very Morrissey-esque name that was shared by a certain Dame.
When you have a child it is often difficult to remember how much fun it is…there are tantrums, bouts of sickness, homework, falls, bumps, bruises, tiredness and a whole heap of other things that can deflect and distract you from the moments of pure joy. That’s why I decided to keep a diary of fun, so that I could sit down and remind myself of all the happiness and delight that being a parent was bringing into my life.
In the first six months of the year The Dame and I have been to the cinema twenty four times. That is about once every week on average. We have seen “My Little Pony”, “Coco”, “The Greatest Showman”, “Early Man”, “Duck Duck Goose”, “Tad the Explorer”, “Sherlock Gnomes”, “Show Dogs” and a few others…some of those we have actually seen more than once. “Coco” and “The Greatest Showman” we have seen four times each…including a sing-along showing of “The Greatest Showman” and “Coco” in 3-D. It is the same routine every time we go, Edith gets a Munch Box with sweet popcorn, water and chocolate stars (which she gives to me) and I get a bag of peanut butter popcorn and a Cherry Pepsi Max.
We’ve been to the National Museum of Scotland, eaten at Civerino’s pizzeria, Pizza Express, Pizza Hut (lots of pizza), Five Guys, McDonalds and sundry other eateries, to Dalry swimming pool where very little swimming actually takes place, made a chocolate cake with Aunty Rebecca on a Sunday afternoon, seen an exhibition of childrens illustration at the modern art gallery, attended the pantomime (Cinderella) at the Kings and wondered at the flying carriage, sledged at the local park during the snow days, gone ten pin bowling, played more rounds of golf at the adventure golf place in town than I can count, had an Easter egg hunt, won prizes at the amusement arcade, visited the local park to play football, flung money at the rides at the Links Market in Kirkcaldy, had barbecues with dear friends in the garden and goodness knows what else.
The only things.
Looking back on it all half way through the year I find myself grinning at the good times we have shared together. Hours and hours sat side by side in the dark of the cinema…long cold sessions in the pool…false scores at the adventure golf…being bored in the park while she plays with her friends…all of it worthwhile for the knowledge that she knows her dad loves her.